Clean-Up, Clean-Up

     People who say that they like to clean are liars. Nobody truly enjoys the act of cleaning. It is the time after the job is done, when the air smells of bleach and the floors shine, that people enjoy. Conversely, nobody really likes living in a dirty house, either. People who claim that are just good at ignoring the mess, transcending the clutter. I am of the former persuasion. While I don't dance through the house with my dustrag, I can only truly relax when the house is clean.

     I keep a clean house partly because I like it that way, and partly because I don't want to be embarrassed when someone stops by. I was a typical teenage slob, and my college apartment was disgusting. I had a full course load and waited tables five days a week, and I didn't see the point of cleaning a place that I was rarely in. When I moved in with my husband, I embraced cleaning, and found that it made me happy to keep a nice home. Very 50's housewife, I know, but it gave me satisfaction.

     After kids, the housework got harder to keep up with, but I managed. When Mary began home therapy, it became a huge daily task. Therapists coming over every day, sometimes twice, was a great motivator in keeping everything immaculate. It hurt my pride, a little, that I couldn't do everything for her, that I couldn't teach her the things a mom should. At the very least, I could vacuum the carpets and pick up the blocks, to make their job easier.

     Cleaning was a way to maintain control over my life. If the dishes are done and the toilets are scrubbed, I can relax, knowing that there is nothing more to do. However, I am very much an out-of-sight, out-of-mind person - my basement is like that episode of "Friends," where Chandler finds Monica's closet jammed with crap. I enjoy home-makeover shows on HGTV and Style network, and I think that I've got a great idea for one. "Dirty Little Secrets" would feature homes like mine, which appear in order, except for that one room or nook that holds all of the odds and ends. To any tv execs reading: I volunteer to be featured on the first episode.

     Now that Mary gets all of her therapy at school, I worry less about keeping the house clean. I no longer rotate the toys every two weeks, and it's been way too long since the upstairs was vacuumed. Maybe that's a sign that I'm relaxing more, accepting life for what it is. Then again, this week my son and I spent a full morning shoveling his room out. He was so happy, he actually played in it, instead of dragging his stuff around the rest of the house. I'm making one just like me! You're welcome, Ben's future wife.