Slow Ride

    There just isn't anything better than holding a baby. Those little, warm, sweet-smelling bundles are absolute heaven. It makes parents wistful for the time when their children were that tiny and precious. Any time there is a new baby around, somebody always sighs and says, "I wish they could stay this way forever." I have never been one of these people - infancy is nice, but I'm the type of person who has to rearrange my furniture every six months. I crave change, and one of the best things about having kids is watching them grow. They're always progressing, evolving, learning.

    Except when they don't.

     Mary's development is painfully slow. The time she takes to acquire a new skill is at least four times that of a normal child, and so change is nearly impossible to see until it's already there. Despite the patient guidance of numerous therapists, Mary does things on her mysterious timetable. Her typical m.o. is to watch an adult demonstrate a task, melt down and refuse to try it, and then practice it alone in her room later. As a result, her test scores are always quite low, and she functions as an 18-24 month-old child.

    I just can't stop and smell the roses here. I have had a baby for nearly five years now, and it is tiresome. Kids can be tedious in general, with their love for repetition. I shuddered recently when my son pulled up "Rookie of the Year" on Netflix, remembering the summer my brother watched it every single day. This was worse than the previous summer, when "Larry Bird: A Basketball Legend" whirred through the Betamax constantly. It's like when your kid wants the same bedtime story every night for a month. Green Eggs and Ham gets a little stale after a while. Now imagine reading it for a year and a half - although, in my case, it's Moo, Baa, La La La, which is mercifully shorter.

     I won't deny that there are some benefits. I still get all of the snuggles that I want. I don't have to deal with a preschooler who wants highlights - yes, that particular trend is going around at Ben's school. Mary is in no danger of growing up too fast, but I long for the kid she is going to become. I would kill to hear her say "No" fifty times in a row. Of course, anyone who's spent five minutes with Mary can tell you that she says no in many, non-verbal ways - head tossing, crying, throwing herself on the floor, or everyone's favorite, the motorboat. If I ever figure out how to post videos on here, you'll see what I mean.

     I will stop whining soon, but I'll leave you with one more thought - I have been changing diapers for eight years straight, and I only have two kids. Those people who say, "I wish they could stay this way forever"? Come on over - I dare you!